#and have basic personality traits assigned with him

[beast-of-mosss]

Feel free to infodump at me about Viveras Lavellan (or Deshan) I love to hear about blorbos and I mean this genuinely

Hkkanejwjeiwjwj, I'll give you a rundown on Viveras and his relationship with Deshan! Although, I'm in a Dragon Age Server where it's mostly just people talking about their blorbos and being nerds- so,,,definitely hit me up if you're interested!!!!! :D!!!!

I'm so sorry for this long ass post as well as my sleepy brain writing. I'm mentally ill.

I'm a bit tired, but I'll try to form thoughts for you.

Anyway! So, we're gonna focus on Viveras Lavellan. He's still being developed due to my brain worms hyperfocusing on Deshan, but he's definitely more developed compared to Ren Trevelyan. These are just the run down of him, there's a lot more information about him on the discord.

Viveras Lavellan is a mage, and is the Clan's First. He's 19 years old and is 11 years younger than Deshan. When I was first developing him, he was kinda my shitpost voice piece for a lot of the dehumanization that the Inquistior (Deshan) faces/also anger at the disrespect of the Dalish by the Inner Circle. He also does,,,like elfroot weed and is lowkey an menace to society but only when Deshan is around.

He's a gender non-confirming, and he does like to wear dresses. He has an interest in fashion design which he picked up from an elder in the Clan. He's confident in his looks, and can act like a smug cat at times.

And just like most creators do, the Lavellan siblings' parents are dead- but Viveras was told by Deshan that they were abandoned. I have a wip scene of that, I'll link the little wip/teaser here:

Here's him in a dress!!

He's actually pretty aloof, and tends to daydream a lot, but he's quick witted. He's a lot more easier to read than Deshan.

He does show up at Skyhold, much to Deshan's horror, and is a bad influence to Cole. He tends to be passive-aggressive towards the Inner Circle, he does warm up to some of them. A lot of things are still wip with him, but I do know some more based concepts with him.

Where Deshan is the sun, Viveras is the moon. They both kinda foil each other (sweet lies vs. blunt truth, direct anger vs. Indirect anger, etc).

There's a shitpost/canon scene where it's the Judgement scene, and it's all serious and the criminal is Viveras and hes high off his mind. He snuck in, got some soilders to do elfroot weed with him, and somehow passed out on the roof of the barn. It's quiet, Josephine is reading off his crimes. Then all of the sudden "Keeper Deshanna is gonna fucking kill you!" And queue a chase scene and screaming.

Another shitpost/canon scene is Viveras, Sera, and Cole doing elfroot weed and Cole accidentally inhales it?? Or smth. Disappears for a week, only to show up in the fucking roof.

Viveras and Deshan relationship is tense and toxic. And it's Deshan fault. Deshan lies to Viveras, thinking rhat it's better to give him comfort than truth. They care so much for Viveras, and they want him to live a safe and healthy life. They don't want to lose him, so they lie and hide themselves from him. Thinking that it would protect him from the world and from themselves. Overprotective of him, and in a way-treating him like a child. And it's hard for Viveras, and although the Clan is his family, he does really want to have Deshan's approval and wants to be taken seriously by them. He wants to be let in, and he had tried many times before-but he gets shut down or shut out by Deshan.

He's hurt by them, and not knowing how to deal with that-he acts reckless. Putting himself at risk more just to gain that attention from Deshan.

He dabbles in blood magic, and instead of wielding a staff like any other mage-he wields the Blade of Tidarion.

They do eventually have a heart to heart, and do mend their relationship, but after Trepasser-Deshan's character growth takes a step back and they went back to bad habits. And once again, Viveras was pushed out and alone.

And he hardened his heart and turned his back on them, returning to his clan and helping the Clan in Wycome.

I do have a scene that I want to write where Deshan, once they finally pulled themselves together, tried to reach out-but is rejected by Viveras. Deshan only leaving him with a letter and a messenging crystal. They do this to let him know that they will always be there for him if he wants them to be? My brain is going foggy atm, but I want to leave a hopeful ending to their sibling relationship.

Here's his wip playlist;

[creantzy]

Defying God - a parallel between Fyolai and Stavrovensky

The Demons brainrot is taking over, and you know what happens when I acquire a new interest: my brain WILL find a way to connect it to my other interests, whether I like it or not!! And this is essentially what it's about xD I've come here to present a parallel I found between Fyolai (Fyodor & Nikolai from BSD) and Stavrovensky (Verkhovensky & Stavrogin from "Demons" by Dostoevsky). Before I start I want to clarify a few things:

• I don't think these two pairings are similar, I just love picking up any crumbs of connections I can find between my interests, even if it'd count as reaching.

• This interpretation (in either character's case) is in no way "the only true way of looking at it". It's merely one interpretation out of many and I chose to focus on just a few aspects out of the many others there are to explore in these complex characters. 

• Feel free to add onto or disagree with anything I say! I'm interested in your thoughts :D

WARNING: There will be spoilers for Bungou Stray Dogs and Demons.

The reason Nikolai wants to kill Fyodor is because he feels affection for him. Emotions are a prison to him, and he basically seeks the opposite of what his emotions make him want to do. Thus, in the face of affection, which makes you want to be closer and wish the best for your friend, he does the opposite and decides to kill said friend, going directly against his feelings in an attempt to prove free will. But here I want to focus more on the "You want to defy God in order to lose sight of yourself" part, specifically the bit about God.

One part of my interpretation is that Nikolai associates God with control. If there is a God who controls all, how can there be a free will? He wants to go against Him and His creations (the human mind, morality, etc.) to prove that it's possible. But God is very abstract - the idea of God is influential but varies depending on cultures, etc. For this point, I'll use the example of the biblical God, or, more specifically, some attributes commonly assigned to the idea of God:

• omnipotence (all-powerful)

• omnipresence (all-present)

• omniscience (all-knowing)

What I am leading up to is the fact that these traits can, in one way or another, be applied to Fyodor. Fyodor's character represents everything Nikolai wants to defy. Nikolai hates control; he wants to fight the idea of God and prove the possibility of complete independence. Fyodor (though not in a "direct" way) could be seen as a symbol for God. He knows everything, he is always present (metaphorically and sometimes literally, the way he spawns sometimes I swear-), and he seems to control everything. Only few people actually see him, but he pulls the strings behind the scenes, and his power is felt everywhere. For Nikolai, to kill Fyodor is not just a protest against his feelings of affection, but can also be a symbolic act of defying "God", of killing "God", by killing Fyodor.

This is supposed to be very symbolic and not taken literally. I feel the need to repeat this because I personally dislike the notion of Fyodor as a literal God (and disagree with the idea of him having a God-complex), so this is merely about the God-like traits he possesses, like a "substitute" for the idea of God, and how it interacts with Nikolai's philosophy. (I've also exaggerated some points for the sake of simplification - for example, I don't actually believe Fyodor is in control of absolutely everything, etc.)

Moving onto Demons:

Pyotr Verkhovensky grew up religious and (assuming based on Stepan's description) with a fear of God.

Now he's an atheist and very anti-religious. He plans to overthrow society, and destroying religion + everything it preaches is part of that plan. But interestingly enough, he picks not himself as the official future "ruler", but someone else: Nikolai Stavrogin. He chooses Stavrogin to be the role of the leader in Verkhovensky's ideal society. But not exactly the "leader" in the traditional sense, because he wouldn't necessarily give Stavrogin all the power. He would simply use him as a "pawn" (for lack of a better word) while himself pulling the strings behind said society. With that, Verkhovensky puts someone else above himself, in a God-like position, but he wants to do it while still keeping full control over Stavrogin. By doing so, he would overcome his childhood fear of God because instead of being controlled by God, *he* will control God.

(Same case here, not the literal God, but the character who he assigns God-like traits to.)

I am undecided (with both Nikolai's and Verkhovensky's character) whether this could be read as a solely subconscious intention or if it would make sense as a conscious one as well. Given that both have a different "main" goal (Nikolai focuses on emotions and Verkhovensky on the revolution) I lean more towards thinking it's subconscious (if present at all - like I said, just interpretations!)

It doesn't help that Verkhovensky describes his vision of Stavrogin's leadership as "hidden": Everyone believes in him and his power, but only very few people are said to actually have laid their eyes upon him. When I first read this part, I was honestly reminded of Big Brother from Orwell's 1984, but eventually realised that similar things can be said about God as well.

While these are parallels, they don't come without differences. Nikolai needs Fyodor dead, Verkhovensky needs Stavrogin alive. Nikolai wants to kill Fyodor for a sense of freedom, Verkhovensky wants to keep Stavrogin for a sense of control. Yet both symbolic goals are bound to fail:

Fyodor turns out to be unkillable, and Stavrogin ends up dead.

At the end, "God" stays untouchable.

[grey-spark]

Analyzing the WIND BREAKER Trio

TW: BIG SPOILERS FOR THE MANGA, light mention of abuse.

It’s high time I talk about the main characters of Wind Breaker, who are surprisingly unconventional. They don’t seem to fit neatly into any of the old characters' trifectas we see across media. None of them are girls, for starters, and they don't even seem to fit the classic Freudian trifecta of Id, Ego, and Super Ego. No, in this analysis, I want to talk about their unusual dynamic and how they depend on each other for what they lack in themselves. These traits being:

Sakura’s lack of social skills

Nirei’s lack of strength.

Suo’s lack of self-belief

Sakura Lacks Social Skills

The only evidence I have to cite is the entire manga. He’s no mystery. Sakura has been abused and neglected from a young age both by his parents and his old town. And by the start of the manga, he’s never been shown kindness before. And what this has created is a form of independence from society. Sakura is someone who only deigns society. Something Yamato Endo later adores about him, something Endo has only seen in one other person. Sakura doesn’t need other people, and will never bend himself to other’s will. He said so as much in his fight with Togame.

However, this virtue comes at the price of having ANY sort of common sense. He doesn’t know how to make friends. He doesn’t know how to operate a phone. It’s almost like he’s been living on a deserted island his whole life. He has no interests, no furniture.

So he needs a guide. That’s Nirei. He lets Nirei hang around him like a little remora fish because he knows that Nirei will point him in the right direction. He’s not so much a “best friend” rather he’s better described as a “foremost friend” who’s made it his personal mission to guide Sakura to the top. 

He displays a greater comfort around Nirei than he does with Suo. To Sakura, Suo is a rival and begrudging mentor to who he derives wisdom from. Now, he’s not a complete rival and foil in the way that Sugishita is, but from the moment, he sees Suo fight, he’s already dreaming of ways to have a real fight with him, but he respects him enough to plan the bridge defense while preparing for the war.

In this sense, Sakura takes motherly doting support from Nirei and fatherly challenging support from Suo. Though he would never ever admit to that. Its interesting how clinically he views both of his friends. He treats them more like social workers who’ve been assigned to him than buddies to hang out with.

Nirei Lacks Strength

At the start of the series, Nirei lacks physical and mental strength. He literally doesn’t know how to fight at all and constantly hides behind his friends. And until his breaking point with KEEL, he basically uses them as bodyguards. After KEEL, Nirei realizes that simply advising and studying others is not enough and makes an effort to at least be able to defend himself and become strong.

And to his credit he does this. By the end of the war arc. He has attained complete mental strength. When Nirei throws that punch on the bridge he has everything. He becomes a complete hero. Lacking only muscle and training. Mitsuki knows this. Suo knows this. All of them know it and are more than willing to help him grow into what will probably one day be Hiragi’s replacement. 

Suo Lacks Self-Belief

(in his own moral judgment.)

By self-belief, I don’t mean that in a confidence sense, but rather a worthiness sense. Suo is the most perplexing of the three because we know so little about him at the moment. And that’s by design, he wears a mask of impenetrable mystique.

But we can make some observations of his values even if we don’t know the details yet of how he came to them. So lets start by examining what Suo admires about his friends: Sakura’s moral conviction and Nirei’s purity. 

Suo adores Nirei’s purity and innocence, which he finds infinitely more valuable than strength. Nirei doesn’t have a bad bone in this body. The concept of doing something evil has never once crossed his mind. Even after years of being tormented by bullies, one would expect him to go on a revenge arc. But NOPE. He doesn’t even consider it. He’s more concerned about his sick friend or helping an old man he barely knows find peace. As far as Suo is concerned, Nirei is the perfect one and has the most potential of the three because he's already mastered what Sakura and himself lack. Morality and social grace are harder to acquire than muscle. 

In Sakura, Suo sees a champion who can carry his moral convictions like a banner. He says as much before challenging Minoru to a “fight”. 

Time and time again, he reiterates that Sakura is bound to surpass him. But he never means it in reference to combat. In fact, by that point, he hasn’t even seen Sakura have a real fight. And later on, he says it again, when Sakura is able to get a handle on his rage, whereas Suo wants to beat an opponent while he is down. The guy who hurt someone they both deeply cared about.

What he sees in Sakura is a moral conviction that he lacks in himself. At the time I am writing this we know shockingly little about Suo. About his backstory, his master, his Chinese fashion taste, his eye. And neither do his allies. But have clues. We see him refuse to eat with the others, claiming to be on a diet. It was disrespectful of him to not eat anything at that leadership summit, so he had to have a bigger reason. Consider the other character who refused to eat in the story, it becomes more obvious he may have a guilt complex.

What this points to is that Suo has a history. He’s done bad things in the past and now feels guilty and undeserving. His solution is to not find moral clarity in himself but to surround himself with those who can. It's an issue he's going to have to deal with at some point.

What to do with these three?

Looking back, you begin to notice that the nature of their friendship starts out as very transactional. Sakura needs social guides and barely considers them friends at all. Nirei uses his friends as protection and role-models to get stronger. And Suo uses his friends as a way to outsource his moral compass.

But it didn’t stay that way. Sakura starts fighting with others in mind and even plays games with Nirei; who becomes a real fighter just like the others with the help of Suo, who trusts himself enough to become a teacher after being inspired by Sakura. They inspire each other and grow. That’s normal for Shonen. But this strange dynamic is something I find peculiar, breaking the mold of what i’d expect from a heroic trio. It's all very refreshing.

[sabbathbloodysabbeth]

AHHHH I’ve been rereading some of my past posts (they were created for me and god am I happy I created them) but they have also put this thought into my head.

What if Omega Steve is the only one able to carry Eddie out because he has been doing everything in his power to not be seen as “just another weak omega” on his free time. Working out, purposely preparing for this moment. He needs to be useful. He needs to be needed. And these needs all stem back from his lack of physical and emotional intimacy. He does have some with Robin, and Robin only but Robin is a beta and doesn’t know how to handle an omega so Steve just doesn’t act like one of those Omegas even though it’s in his nature.

Now he can’t deny all of his nature, he does tend to act “motherly” and protective of those he loves and does other smaller things that aren’t that noticeable. In summary, Steve has and most likely will always be in control. (Which is fine but it’s a rare trait in omegas)

But what if in this universe you don’t find out your second gender until you were closer to eighteen. The youngest being sixteen but that was more rare than anything. Which means in season one neither Nancy, Steve or Jonathan are presenting. Along with this, it’s a well known fact that chaotic situations before presenting is a bad thing as it can affect how your omega/beta/alpha is for the rest of your life. (Basically if they are going to be feral, protective, closed of, or any other traits but to a higher extreme that can lead to complications)

So the younger kids are safe as they are no where near presenting but Steve, Jonathan and Nancy are all in the danger zone. All of them are being actively watched at all times by doctors that were assigned to them. (They each get their own) and when the time comes they all start presenting.

First Nancy, she presents as an Alpha (which was effected by the stressful situation, the doctors did the probability check and testing and she was supposed to be a beta) but other than that she is completely fine and an average alpha considering the circumstances.

Then there is Jonathan. It doesn’t take him long but he presents as a beta. And he’s also completely fine considering the circumstances. Besides having a bad anxiety disorder he’s good.

And finally Steve. Steve who is extremely late with presenting. He doesn’t present until after the events of season three. The doctors think it may have had to do with the unknown drugs that were forced into his system.

Steve’s omega is definetly fucked up, and similarly to that of Nancy Steve was supposed to be an alpha. But in the chaos and trauma his secondary gender switched completely but still holds some “alpha traits”. And he is now always on watch just in case. Along with this he can’t have any heats, which means he’s essentially unable to have children.

Time skip back to him struggling in the upside down. Robin can’t carry Eddie, she’s so tiny and can barely hold herself up. Nancy possibly could but she looked just as exhausted, her own Alpha overwhelmed with how much charge she had to take. And poor Dustin is sobbing, Steve doesn’t think he has much choice. And before any of them can stop him he lifts Eddie (who is an alpha) up and carry’s him out. All of them are shocked, and slightly alarmed as something triggers and Steve’s omega has finally done what the doctors said it would. It goes feral.

It takes a couple of doctors but he’s safely detained while he heals and his omega pretty much takes over completely. The doctors describe it as a form of coma, where the main person (Steve) has been forced to go to “sleep” for a while by his omega as a form of protecting him from anymore trauma. And with the amount of trauma he’s gone through they predict he won’t ever wake up.

But thanks to Steve, Eddie is still alive. Sacrificing himself in the process. Both him and Eddie are in comas and after a year when Eddie wakes up time starts to move again.

Eddie gets taken care of and the doctors come to him after a month of being awake (without telling anyone else) to see if he could test something for them. And by test they mean they want them to go into the same room as Steve’s omega and see if that helps trigger him back awake.

The first session (this goes on for numerous sessions) they see a flicker of Steve return to himself but bla bla bla summary of what I’m trying to come back to is that Eddie and Steve have numerous sessions together where Eddie’s alpha helps Steve’s omega out.

Teaches him how to nest, gives him more physical intimacy that an omega needs (except a heat of course) and starts to bond with Steve who is slowly coming back to each day Eddie comes. It gets to the point where Eddie has to move from his room to Steve’s to stay with him full time while they both heal because his Alpha has bonded with Steve’s omega.

I feel as if I’ve rambled enough but this was an idea I had!

[vershl]

Okay I think I made y'all wait long enough LOL

SORRY THEY'RE ALL UNCLOTHED BTW, I HAVENT FIGURED OUT OUTFITS YET- 💀

I don't really have a lot to share tbh in terms of lore/plans. This AU is very VERY fresh in my brain atm. But I will fill in some details for you guys so you somewhat/mostly understand the current characters I have for now.

---

Shadow

He is a red diamond (ultimate lifeform yada yada), and as stated, a "blood" diamond. I mean this somewhat in modern terms, but not entirely. In real life, diamonds mined in a war zone and sold to fund the costs, hence "blood". In this case; Shadow was created by the other diamonds (primarily white) as a weapon, the plan was to have a gem on equal footing in terms of strength and power that they could order around to do their bidding and do their dirty work.

Clearly, that didn't work out the way they wanted. Shadow pretended to be obedient, following white, and the other diamond's orders. He shattered other gems for whatever reason the diamonds deemed fit (among other things I haven't decided on yet), only doing so to avoid the risk of being deemed defective and shattered himself, or the gem being shattered regardless by someone else.. he at least knew he could give them a swift end without pain.

Once Shadow gained the diamonds trust to wander around as he pleased, the moment no one was looking, he stole a ship and left Homeworld. Going as far as he could into the universe until he found Mobius and crash landed there. It wasn't very long before Sonic found him, and eventually became allies, inviting Shadow into the Crystal Gems, to which he accepted, and chose the name 'Shadow'. He didn't want to be called 'Red' or 'Red Diamond' anymore. He was free now. (This is as far as I got with him, sorry y'all HAHA)

Sonic

Sonic is a yellow prism in the shape of an isotoxal star (the yellow is a nod to super Sonic). In my AU, because offical SU lore with gems is relatively limited, different colored gems even if of the same type, give different abilities/powers. In Sonic's case, yellow prisms give the ability of super speed, because of course, and he chose his name based on that fact as well.

Lore wise with Sonic-- He's the leader of the Crystal Gems (makes more sense considering the CG's signature symbol is a yellow star, so I just ran with that but changed the normal star to the isotoxal). But that's all I have for him.

the rest of these characters have 0 lore at all, i will just try to explain their gems a bit- sorry

Amy

Amy is a Mimetite, a heart stone which helps with emotional stability, inner balance, serenity, joy, and adventure (according to google). Because Amy is basically canonically that 'therapy' friend, mimetite fits perfectly with her personality. As you can see, there are only a few designs that have weapons currently, Amy's being obvious because it's her signature weapon and just works here in the AU as well.

Tails

Tails is a yellow peridot, it's obvious why, and I don't need to elaborate LOL. There isn't much different between peridot colors, it's more-so personality traits than abilities. Green peridots are quite egotistical and arrogant in themselves, while yellow peridots are more adventurous and selfless.

Knuckles

Sorry for his naked hands btw. Honestly, I don't think I have to explain why Knuckles is a garnet. It just tracks. (Reminder that in the show, Garnet isn't a real garnet, it's just what she decided to call herself. In this case, Knuckles IS a real garnet.) Is his signature gem weapon gauntlets/gloves, yes. Did I steal the idea from Garnet? Shut up. :] Besides, Knuckles needed his usual gloves somehow, and he fights by punching shit anyway, so why not? Star on the back of the gloves ofc for obvious reasons.

Rouge

GOD this stupid bat bitch, aaaanyway, ahem. In my AU beryls are information gatherers, either by stealing it or manipulating their way into obtaining it. Beryls are generally under diamond control and report back to their assigned diamond with information they demand for, obviously Rouge is part of the Crystal Gems, so she gathers information for them. And more often than not...is her usual self, and snoops around, digging up dirty secrets/information about her comrades and teases them to no end with it (Shadow being her favorite to torment for... reasons.)

Silver

I chose Silver to be a sapphire simply because of the fact that in the Sonic universe, he can time travel. So instead of time travel in this Steven Universe AU, he gets future vision. I mean it works, right?

Blaze

We can talk about her gem right.. right? It's really tasty and I want to eat it. So; opals are very, VERY rare (which fits with her whole being a princess thing or whatever). She was originally going to be a fire opal... that is until I found out about dragon's breath opals and changed my mind. Blaze is an absurdly rare gem, who knows, maybe even the only one of her cut. :]

Her gem gives her the ability to control fire as a weapon, and her unique cut gives her fire more power as well as makes the flames an unusual pinkish hue.

---

And that's everyone for now! I'm doing some little doodles that I might post a bit later on to compile together, but you can have the two I made of Shadow for now. eats him

[orphiclovers]

Avatar - fundamentally broken skill?

This is a thing I have been thinking about. The way powers (skills, stigmas, whatever) work in the world of ORV is fascinating in that they are not designed to help the incarnation or adjust to their bodies like a classical superpower. It's repeated many times that the Star Stream is a cruel place, so of course it makes nothing easy on them. Just look at how many times Shin Yoosung and Lee Gilyoung bleed when using their skills. Or how Anna Croft and Yoo Joonghyuk were destroyed mentally by their repeated lifetimes - don't even get me started on Regression.

And Avatar is one of the skills that is the most developed. I've talked about how manifesting it seemingly splits you in two (I recommend reading this previous meta before this post) but what does that split entail, exactly? Here's my theories.

1. Author/Character divide.

If we take 1863rd Yoo Joonghyuk as an example, it's very clear cut. The black coat wearing YJH would be the 'character' who stays and dies and the white coat wearing YJH would be the 'author' who choses to write another story. 'Character' used here in the sense that Kim Dokja would look at them and be able to see/assign them this metaphysical trait, as he does for everyone else.

With Kim Dokja, it is basically easy too. 51% is the author, while 49% is the character, probably.

Han Sooyoung is more difficult. I think since Kim Dokja looks at 1863rd and says she is already a 'character', while 3rd stays a person the whole time IIRC, 3rd would be the 'author' self, even if this seems counterintuitive and like it should be the opposite - this makes the most sense with the second part of this theory.

Technically every author (or reader - someone with the knowledge of the narrative) becomes a 'character' (i.e forgets everything) at some point as per Star Stream rules, but this has not yet happened to Han Sooyoung of the 3rd round.

Still, it's not a perfect fit. Both Han Sooyoungs write novels and neither Kim Dokja does (not that writing is 100% necessary to be an 'Author', since YJH is one and barely writes anything until the epilogue) But it's still an interesting connection to explore.

Onto the second part.

2. Does the divide into two...actually work long term, because it doesn't seem to, based on the evidence we have?

First, let's look at 49% Kim Dokja. Perhaps Kimcom would have accepted him as the real Kim Dokja, like they do with Han Sooyoung, if he didn't ACT like a wet paper towel. The detoriation in mental faculties is very apparent and jarring and soon he falls apart physically too. This doesn't happen to 3rd Han Sooyoung, who is also an avatar, so what gives?

Well, it might not happen to 3rd but definitely did to 1863rd Han Sooyoung.

A 'probability storm is gnawing at her memories' and there's physical effects too. She says this has been happening for a while. Even though she has found a way of slowing down the effects it clearly doesn't fix the issue and eventually, despite her resistance, she might have become like 49% Kim Dokja.

(Maybe that's why she was so ready to leave her companions after the scenarios were over. If rereading stuff helps, perhaps that's also why she kept a diary of her round that 3rd YJH eventually got? Just spitballing, this isn't part of the theory.)

She names two possible causes to this detorriation - exessive use of the Avatar skill or Ways of Survival. 'Ways of Survival' probably refers to the Star Stream rule that once you reach the end of your knowledge you forget you were an author and become a 'character', which 1863 justifiably doesn't want to happen. Later, Kim Dokja comments on her 'status as a character' too, so it is related to that.

With 'overuse of Avatar' she could be refering to the way she makes thousands of them in her mind, but if we look at 49% Kim Dokja and the way their sympthoms match pretty closely, it's likely also the fact that another her - the main body/'author' - is running around in another worldline.

So for these two it checks out that one of the halves is always unstable.

With 1863rd Yoo Joonghyuk, well, it's hard to tell how it would have gone, since black coat YJH dies almost immediately. But the very fact that his avatar didn't even make it a couple minutes is also pretty telling.

As previously stated, nothing is stopping a skill from being harmful for the user. So maybe, one half of the initial avatar pair gets the short end of the stick and ends up slowly disintegrating. That's the basics of this theory.

Technically 51% Kim Dokja disintegrates into the Star Stream too but it is by a different mechanism, unrelated to the Avatar skill. First, he overconsumes probablility and shrinks into a child - this happens to Secretive Plotter too, it's just a thing.

Then, he loses his memories and if Kimcom hadn't interviewed would have become the same exact child that SP takes away in the subway, so that was just the time loop asserting itself. Like alt-1863rd YJH losing his memories when regressing to the 3rd round, or 1863 Han Sooyoung going dormant in Young Han Sooyoung's mind on the day the scenarios start. (Each of these are the looping points of the universe for yhk.)

But something about the way 1863rd Han Sooyoung in those 13 years sheds pieces of her story to create TWSA is very reminiscient of how 51% Kim Dokja disintegrates into the Star Stream on that subway. So perhaps there is some kind of connection there too.

[lolli-popples]

The Missing Link in Scott's Characterization

(Wrote this in a random document and I think it's good so I'm loosely transcribing it here)

These are some of my thoughts on a crucial facet of Scott's character in the Life Series that I think is overlooked by the fandom.

From my personal viewpoint, people put a lot of emphasis on Scott's caring about his allies over everything else. I think this is an important characteristic. However, I think this being shown as the most central trait is a detriment to how people read his involvement with the overarching narrative. It might be less of a problem if he wasn't directly involved with the final fight of nearly every Life Series.

Because of this combination of things, his main interaction with fans' reading of the final fight is being willing to do anything to make sure his friends win. It gives people the tendency to attribute some victories partially to him, which upsets people who want main read of the story to focus entirely on the winner. But this also has meant that one of Scott's main traits is overlooked.

Just as much, and often, more than Scott values his allies, he values fairness. To showcase this, let's look at Limited and Last Life, where he had the most control on how the final fight took place.

In Last Life, when it's down to the final four, Scott *could* have teamed up with Pearl, his ally all season, to kill Martyn and Ren. That aligns with wanting either your or your allies to win, no? But he doesn't. He suggests they split to the 4 corners of the map and have a fair fight on equal footing. Very fair.

With Limited Life it's even more apparent. Scott and Martyn have an impressive amount of time. They could both still die multiple times. Impulse is running out, and there's a numbers advantage. They could have killed Impulse and Scott could have let Martyn win, or Scott could have given Martyn his time to fight Impulse alone. But instead, he suggests they all go down to the same amount and have a fair fight.

In both situations, Scott puts fairness *over* an alliance victory. Even though Limited Life didn't end up ending fairly, that had nothing to do with Scott.

Double Life certainly has the strongest claim on Scott "letting someone win". That his death is an apology for abandoning Pearl.

But if you listen to what Scott says in the finale, he never apologizes. He says he didn't think they'd get this far, he says she deserves this more than him, and then he says the iconic "Tilly death do us part."

Scott didn't fight Pearl. But I don't think it came out of remorse. I think that too, came from a sense of fairness. Which is that Pearl, by all accounts, DOES deserve this win. If they fought it would basically be up to a draw. To chance. Scott has every chance of winning. But if you go over the events of Scott's final episode, he mostly runs. He survives. While Pearl 1v2'd two separate pairs and won! The only reason Pearl hasn't killed Scott already, who has been her enemy all season, is because they were randomly assigned to be soul-linked. A concept Scott has fought since the very beginning. He knows that while he never hurt their chances, Pearl is the reason they are here, and Pearl is the reason he is here. It wouldn't be fair for Pearl to lose to what is basically a coin flip. So, he doesn't leave it up to random chance.

So yes, Scott is loyal and does care about his allies, he proves that again and again. But the way he is involved in how the series end shows that his sense of order and fairness are equally important. Also, I think viewing his contributions from this angle help remedy some of the reasons people don't like his usual characterization because of how it effects the agency of other characters.

[luckybyler]

I’ve watched up to 4x03 so far + latest episodes of season 8, and I’ve come to the conclusion that Buck is the baby of the 118 family because he was assigned that role by them, not because of any inherent traits of him.

I’m not saying he isn’t impulsive and sometimes an idiot because he is, I’m saying that he’s not worse than everyone else, and yet they all keep the privilege of being treated like adults afterwards. And being the baby of the group can be a good thing, but it’s a bad thing when it makes people not take you seriously of treat you condescendingly, which is often the case with Buck.

I’ve seen Maddie stalk a 911 caller, Eddie became an illegal fighter and almost killed a guy, Hen PERFORM AN IMPROVISED TRACHEOTOMY INSIDE A MOVING VEHICLE, AS A PARAMEDIC, Bobby missed a shift because he relapsed in his binge drinking, Athena wiped her ass with police procedure several times, Abby got Buck’s number unethically to say the least… that’s what I remember from the top of my head right now. I’m sure there was more stuff. Most of them were reprimanded in some way of course, but again, all were treated like adults. Had Buck been in their place he would’ve never heard the end of it.

On the other hand, Buck constantly does adult things that are ignored or dismissed. Like, he gets along with children and is good at taking care of them. If this was any other guy, everyone would say “he’s a great dad/he’ll make a great dad one day”. But because it’s Buck, it means he’s “one of the kids” and gets the funny music. Or Maddie’s called “basically Buck’s mom” even though our introduction to her involved her arriving unannounced at his (Abby’s, but still) place, and Buck letting her stay with him, hooking her up with a job and helping her find and move to a new apartment, as normal brothers and sisters do. Or the lawsuit era of “you’re a selfish child who can’t understand that we’re doing this for your own good, also my son and I need you and you weren’t there to bail me out of jail”; or when he helped Athena organize a secret Christmas dinner at the 118 with all their loved ones and the group home, etc. and at the end she was like “see what you can do when you use your brain for good?” like, why don’t you just say “thank you Buck for helping me make Christmas happen” like a normal person, *Athena*? Why not keep the condescending comment to yourself? Or when Chim kicked him out of his house after half a day and then overstaying his welcome for at least a month the next season, then having his brother stay there. And I’m glad Bobby wasn’t affected by the radiation, but Buck had a point about the nosebleed.

And speaking of Bobby, I cannot emphasize enough how much he has never had to give Buck a shower (at least as far as episode 4x03), and yet Buck *has* had to give *Bobby* a shower at least once because he was so drunk he didn’t know who he was neighbours with. And how much if I was in Bobby’s place I wouldn’t be able to look at Buck in the eye afterwards and think “yes, I am the father in this relationship”.

I guess I relate to Buck’s situation a lot, but yeah. I’m not saying Buck is perfect or everyone should be so grateful to Buck or even that they can’t see him as the baby in a way, a good way. As in whimsy and baby blues. But he is an adult **and he acts like it**, so they need to start seeing him more as an equal.

[ao3cassandraic]

As far as they can

At the end of the Job minisode, Crowley inaugurates Their Side by proclaiming Aziraphale "an angel who goes along with Heaven... as far as he can," parallel to his own stated relationship with Hell.

Only it... doesn't actually work that way. Their exactlies are different exactlies.

Crowley defies and lies to Hell as often as he thinks he can get away with it. He never disabuses Downstairs of their misconceptions about his contributions to human atrocities. He cheerfully lies in his reports Downstairs, something Aziraphale briefly turns on his Baritone of Sarcastic Disapproval about in s1. Crowley even turns evil homeopathic in the latter part of the 20th century, likely in hopes that it will look good to head office while accomplishing essentially nothing. (This, of course, is another way he Crowleys himself, both with the London phone system and the M25.) After Eden, Crowley's default given an assignment from Hell is to see how he can subvert it.

Aziraphale, on the other hand, defies Her and Heaven as little as he possibly can. Sometimes, as with his sword giveaway, his compassion gets the better of his anxiety. Sometimes, as with Job's children in the destruction of the villa, he can try to stay within the letter of the law by leaving the defiance to Crowley.

His default, however, is "'m 'nangel. I can't dis- diso -- not do what 'm told." This comes out most often as respect for the Great/Divine Plan, which to him is sacrosanct. He sounds quite sincere in s1 when he says "Even if I wanted to help I couldn’t. I can’t interfere with the Divine Plan."

Aziraphale quite frequently Good Angels along by parroting Heaven's party line, whether it's "it'll all be rather lovely" or "I am good, you (I'm afraid) are evil" or droning on about evil containing the seeds of its own destruction, or condemning Elspeth's graverobbing as "wicked" (a stance he offers absolutely no reasoned support for, no logic, no "but She said," not a word -- that's very Heaven; most of Heaven's angels have the approximate brainpower of paramecia). Maestro Michael Sheen even has a particular voice cadence -- I think of it as Sententious Voice -- he uses when Aziraphale is thoughtlessly party-lining.

When the angel's conscience wars with his sense of Heaven's orthodoxy but (and this is an important but) he can't feasibly resist whatever's wrong, he offers strengthless party-line justifications he clearly doesn't agree with (as with the "rain bow" in Mesopotamia) or resorts to a Nuremberg defense: "I'm not consulted on policy decisions, Crowley!" Once or twice, he's even vocally aware of Heavenly hypocrisy: "Unless… [guns]'re in the right hands, where they give weight to a moral argument… I think." This isn't Sententious Voice. It's I-can't-disobey-and-I-hate-that voice.

But at base, the angel prefers obedience (not least because it's vastly safer), and he'd rather have someone else do his moral reasoning for him. Honestly? Pretty relatable. I know lots of people like this -- hell's bells, I've been this person, though I grew out of it somewhat -- and I daresay you do too. Moral reasoning is hard and often lonely (since it can be read as self-righteousness or even hypocrisy) and acting as it dictates can hurt. Nobody would need ethics codes if The Right Thing was also invariably The Convenient Thing.

Many GO fans find these Aziraphalean traits frustrating! Especially his repeated returns to parroting Heaven orthodoxy! Sometimes I do too! (Not least because I'm rather protective of my own integrity, and it's cost me quite a few times. I'm well-known in professional circles for picking up a rhetorical spear and tilting at the nearest iniquitous windmill. I often lose, but I sure do keep tilting. Every once in a blue moon I actually win one.)

The key, I think, to giving our angel a little grace on this (beyond honoring the gentle compassion that is pretty basic to his character) is noticing how often he can be induced to abandon an unconsidered Heavenish default stance. As irritating as his default is, and as consistently as he returns to it, it's not really that hard to talk him out of it. Crowley, of course, is tremendously good at knocking Aziraphale away from his default -- he's had to be. But Aziraphale even manages to talk himself away from his default once, in the form of the Ineffable Plan hairsplitting at the airbase!

I think the character-relevant point of the Resurrectionist minisode is making this breaking-the-Heavenish-default dynamic as clear as the contents of the pickled-herring barrel aren't. "That's lunatic!" Crowley exclaims, when Aziraphale Sententious Voicedly parrots Heaven's garbage about poverty providing extra opportunities for goodness. Aziraphale isn't quite ready to let go yet, replying "It's ineffable."

But Dalrymple (who, I think, parallels Heaven, perhaps even the Metatron -- there could be something decent there, but it's buried too deep under scorn and clueless privilege for any graverobber-of-souls to dig it out) manages to break Aziraphale's orthodoxy by explaining the child's tumor.

Once released from his orthodoxy, Aziraphale can't be trusted to handle moral reasoning well; his moral-reasoning ability is not-uncommonly (though not always) portrayed as vitiated. When he gives Elspeth the go-ahead to dig up more bodies, his excuses are just as vacuous as they were when he was convinced of her wickedness. He knows that he's crossed Heaven's line, too, and just as at Eden it's worrying him. That's why he has to talk to Crowley to nerve himself up to help Wee Morag... only he spends too much time talking, and it's too late.

But Crowley can then talk him into bankrolling Elspeth toward a better life. Aziraphale doesn't even put up any fight, both because he's compassionate and because Crowley is temporarily taking the place of Heaven (he's even Heaven-sized and staring down at them!) as the angel's moral compass.

S1 has an even worse example of Aziraphale's moral wavering, actually. Crowley yells "Shoot him, Aziraphale!" and Aziraphale sure does try to murder Adam. Again, he's adopting his morals from the nearest (and loudest) convenient source. Madame Tracy, thankfully, has enough of a moral backbone to save our angel from himself and Crowley.

(With my ersatz-ethicist hat on: this is a fight between utilitarianism and deontology. Crowley is the utilitarian, which is actually a bit of a departure for him, but he's admittedly desperate. Madame Tracy is the deontologist: One Doesn't Kill Children. Aziraphale is caught in the middle.)

I wouldn't be surprised if part of the reason we start s3 with Aziraphale and Crowley separated is so that Aziraphale finally has to do his own moral reasoning, without Crowley's nudges. I don't think it'll be easy for him. It will absolutely be lonely. And it may well hurt.

But I will watch for it, because it's how he will become his own angel, independent of Heaven and even of Crowley. And he must do that.

[mychlapci]

Thinking actual meta thoughts about wifefication Sentinel and Optimus.

Sentinel has become a perfect cog in the Autobot machine, carrying out his assigned function as Ultra Magnus's blushing bride happily and without complaint, at the cost of having almost everything that made him *Sentinel* removed and replaced.

In contrast, Optimus has kind of become the truest version of himself. There's no room left for self-doubt or guilt, no more pain, just his own talent and the knowledge that he's genuinely respected for it. He's happier and healthier as Megatron's Empress of Destruction than he ever was as an Autobot.

(He might actually become the template for a milder variation on the process - it would be a pity to gain someone like Bulkhead through a method that removes valuable skills and knowledge like spacebridge engineering, after all.)

ouuu you almost make me feel bad for Sentinel.

Anyways, there's actually something really inch resting regarding how the autobots used the hypnosis versus how the decepticons used it. Ultra Magnus had everything wiped from Sentinel's processor, any chance of deviant thoughts or agency or desires that don't line up with pleasuring his conjux are gone... he's a whole different mech, reprogrammed to be nothing more than a dumb baby-making machine. Compared to Megatron, who might have influenced Optimus in bad faith but ultimately let him keep his defining personality traits and intelligence. He had no need for something soft and silky, he might have played around but in the end, he wanted a strong carrier to rule by his side, who can bear strong heirs and protect them...

the decepticons basically just went "I don't care you've been bimbofied we're under fucking attack!! get your weapons out Now!!"

[bestjaydee]

I don’t understand either. I remember early on someone saying, “He’s so pretty I’d forgive him anything”, and while she may have been joking I do think there’s some truth to it for some. Let’s face it, pretty privilege has many facets, and sometimes it assigns traits to someone that aren’t there. Whereas once I begin seeing cracks in character, that changes the color of my lens. It’s not about perfection, but character. And fairly early on in his breakout there were little things that contradicted what we were being sold that caused me to start questioning. I’ve been baffled by the psychology behind his fans (or any blindly devoted fan of anything) for many years. I also think you’re being very generous with S3 😅. That’s another thing I don’t understand—when his castmates are able to deliver, you can’t then place all blame on the director or anyone else when he doesn’t. I’ve seen a million excuses for his performances, none of which place any responsibility on him.

I've written about pretty privilege on my blog before. I had read an article that called it the Halo effect. It basically means that if there’s one good trait in a person, you then associate a bunch of other good traits with that first good trait. And usually the first good trait we’re talking about is physical beauty. This explains why people tend to assume that conventionally beautiful people are also smart, funny, or talented. 

Add to that, the JAMMF effect and you have women acting like they do around Sam, spending insane amounts of money on him and defending his every move, even questionable ones, such as paying for an escort. They also think terrible movies are good, just because he's in them, juvenile behaviours become cute, while entitled behaviours, commendable.

Furthermore, these mommies talk about his curls, his arms, the veins in his arms, his knees like he's a piece of meat. And they don't get how cringe they sound.

[iamfuckingsorry]

i'm sorry but like. i played the game for the first time like a month ago (and it absolutely wrecked me, it was beautiful), and i just can't stop thinking about this and i need to get it out. but like, kim, what the fuck is the deal with kim?

like, he's just such a weird little man with such a weird little collection of character traits, but also he's just so fucking perfect.

like, kim. he spent 15 years being a cop in a department he fucking hated but he just stuck it out. he is so done with teens he basically refuses to speak to them unless he absolutely has to, but he still spent 15 fucking years in that section, refusing to give up. he's proud to be a revacholian and to protect the city now, but did he feel this way when he joined the RCM? or did he join to prove to everyone that even a monkey fucker like him could be revacholian? or did he join because he got kicked out of the orphanage he grew up at and didn't have anywhere else to go? or was there a different reason altogether?

and look at him now. he's presumably one of the best cops in his precint (i'm sure he mentions something about this early on in the game but i honestly can't remember), and one that seems to mostly play fair and genuinely care, which doesn't seem to be that common at all. and he's proud of this and strives to always be professional and calm and collected even if he doesn't always fully manage. he keeps himself in check first and foremost, and seems to try to keep everyone at an arm's length and not engage in personal discussions, even though he will often indulge harry if directly asked.

and so far it all makes sense, right? he's been treated like shit all throughout his life, dealt a fairly shitty hand, an orphan, an immigrant, a homo, possibly visually impaired (has he always needed glasses? was he able to get them as a broke-ass kid with no one to speak on his behalf? or did he grow up never able to see properly, struggling in school because he could never read the board or react in time when people threw shit at him, made fun of by both teachers and classmates?), mocked and ridiculed, and he's had to fight hard to get to where he is now. and he desperately needs to keep it this way, so he works hard and sticks to the rules and keeps his distance from people, and he puts a stop to everyone and everything that people could make fun of (no, harry, you will /not/ call me kimball, you will call me Lt kitsuragi, no, harry, you will /not/ tell anyone about the ice bear fridge, i will /not/ be known as the ice bear cop). but he's also mostly a genuinely nice and compassionate person and he really cares, as long as people are at least trying to do good.

but also…

he basically wears period cosplay to work. like. for real, he clearly wears his fucking pilot jacket so often that having the RCM insignia sewn onto it was the most logical choice. he is so obviously into planes and cars (but he's too blind to be a pilot :), do you think he used to hate himself as a kid not only because he was poor and abandoned by everyone and "an immigrant" but also because not even his own fucking body would let him be what he wanted to be), he has an extremely expensive vehicle that's his, his only, and not even really needed for the stuff he does at work the majority of the time. he clearly had to have a chat with his boss at some point in time and justify this purchase and why the car should be permanently assigned to him and him only, and even if i'm sure he had a bunch of actual reasons you can't convince me that his boss and all of his colleagues weren't all aware that really, he just wanted a fast fucking car and had an excuse to get it. and clearly the higher ups like him enough to indulge him, because surely no one would be actually fooled? why would a crime investigator get it and not, like, the fucking traffic guys chasing drunk drivers and illegal racers every night?

and like, in some ways he fucking owns it, doesn't seem to give a fuck, he's who he is and if people don't like it that's not his problem. but he's also embarassed about listening to that fucking radio station. but he also drives a sports car and wears driving gloves and a pilot jacket, of course he's listen to that fucking radio station. but then he also does newspaper crosswords. like, he seems to put a into maintaining this facade of professionality, but he also really doesn't fucking care when it comes to a lot of the stuff, it's great. except for the extremely random stuff that he does care about and can get extremely flustered about momentarily.

and it feels really out of character in a way. he works so hard on keeping himself in check at all times, representing the RCM in a good light and making sure both him and others get treated with the respect they deserve. he smokes one cigarette a day to keep proving to himself he can keep his vices in check, for fuck's sake. but then it's like he just picked one (1) part of his personality where he just went like, fuck it. Fuck it, I work hard for this shit and I deserve to do what I want sometimes too, and this one fucking thing is innocent enough and safe enough, and I don't give a fuck, I deserve /one fucking thing/ and I'm gonna get it. I'm getting the goddamn jacket and the Kineema and if people have a problem with that, they can go fuck themselves. I /need/ this one thing and I. Am. Getting. It.

(it's clearly a big part of his personality, but do you think there were other massive interests in the past, or maybe there still are others he isn't as open about with? Things he thinks would undermine his career and reputation? Past hobbies he abandoned because if anyone found out, that would be the end of his career at the RCM, even though for anyone else who wasn't a stupid fucking immigrant who can't even see right it would be a funny little detail?)

anyway.

i'm just like. stay the way you are, my weird little man. you're great.

[anawkwardlady]

Okay I've been trying to write this for more than a week but frustratingly wasn't able to properly line my thought. Recently thought about Kyrie's violent assassination of Jessica during Ep7's Tea Party. And while theres some plausible practical explanation of why she proceeded that way (on top of all those traits that could be purposefully exaggerated) I always thought her sudden blood lust at that point felt a bit odd. I re-read the scene.

And I think it retroactively says a lot. Now I kinda want to go back to Rudolf in relationship to sexuality, women and by extension what it means for the people around him. Rudolf didn't have a lot of ways to establish a place, as a third in rank who was abused and mistreated by his older and more powerful siblings. Women thus became Rudolf's wealth, status symbol and means of control. Starting with using seduction towards the younger servants to isolate his little sister so she had no allies in the household, making himself a desirable option as a charismatic man bragging about money to have women fight over him during college and finally ending with the best of both worlds, marrying a kind and submissive woman (epitome of The Wife) while keeping the more exotic option on the side as a mistress (basically his Whore). Both being kept on their toes knowing losing him would also mean losing a life opportunity especially once pregnant. Rudolf made efforts and sacrifices to make each one of them stay at their assigned place which finally lead to the baby switching. And everything would have ran smoothly if not for Asumu's death, upgrading Kyrie from her mistress place to wife.

Rudolf's "attraction" towards Natsuhi is interesting. Whether it's played as jokes or comments about her looks it does seem trivial enough to never have triggered outward hostility from Kyrie since she is not an actual threatening woman. She however represents the wife fantasy by her seemingly pure and naive demeanor and motherly side, qualities that also drew him towards Asumu in the first place (and we know Natsuhi is more complicated than that and so was Asumu, probably it's more about the idea) and was lost after her death. He can't seduce her (she is maybe more disgusted by his ways than anything), She is also paradoxically not the best woman to go after by societal standards (being older, already having a kid). Finally she is married to a man who's superior to him (through hierarchy and physical strength), making her a prized possession by extension. During Episode's 8 Bern's game Rudolf finds sadistic pleasure of murdering Natsuhi in ways similar to sexual assault (putting the pen of the gun down her throat) which could be speculated as a way to get revenge on Krauss by defiling his wife and getting to have his way with a woman he cannot, and could never have at the same time. She is unreachable which is itself the appeal.

Meanwhile, Kyrie only reached the position of the wife because the first option died and she now has to spend the rest of her life making sure that place isn't stolen. Throughout the conference Kyrie actively performs a less assertive version of herself to fit that very wife image. One could fear any sign of fondness from Rudolf towards Natsuhi's character could trigger Kyrie past insecurities as it would betray a yearning for what Asumu was, what is still lacking within her. Especially since, by the time of Ep7's tea party, she is aware of the baby switching and by extension, of Rudolf purposeful sabotage to avoid having to marry her. It's hard for Kyrie to adapt to Rudolf's ideals because they're ultimately contradictory (seeking her because she is "different", ruthless, less conventional, yearning for a more quiet, meek woman who wouldn't challenge him).

Although Natsuhi is, as a person, inoffensive to her, Kyrie's initial mistake with Asumu (which haunts her to this day) was letting a woman she thought was inoffensive take her place by being exactly that. (I'll also note that Rudolf comments towards Natsuhi are often said in front of Kyrie which is interesting to say the least).

And at the same time Natsuhi is also a reminder of the position Kyrie would be stuck in if she wasn't able to escape her family to marry Rudolf. Theres probably some turmoil there. She never seemed hostile to Natsuhi because of all those reasons and I think it's probably because nothing is actively taking place, nothing is about her as a person. But even if, things to keep in mind is that, Kyrie performs a lot, extremely well and she has absolutely no angle or justification to be confrontational during the conferences. Basically if she actually beared resentment, theres a chance we would never know.

Then what about Jessica. Jessica previously being praised by Rudolf for looking like Natsuhi in something that seemed like a passing comment getting violently assaulted to the point of being disfigured. Kyrie even throwing in a comment about being used to smashing women faces, something that was certainly aimed at romantic rivals. I don't think Rudolf actually ever showed interest towards Jessica in that way and by extension I don't think Kyrie considered her to be a romantic or sexual rival as a person. At the time Kyrie confronts her Natsuhi already died rather quickly (and anticlimactically). Jessica is her mother's good looks though younger but with those less conventional attractive qualities, who fought back when attacked thus literally standing between Kyrie and her escape, metaphorically embodying the ultimate rival. Close enough to be a reminder, far enough to actually oppose threat. Disfiguring as catharsis and as symbolic rage against what she represents, "A waste a of a good Natsuhi-esque woman" with all that it entails.

[deconstructthesoup]

Of course I can't just drop an idea into the void and then scamper off for other people to do something with it---I have to do it myself. So, feast your eyes on the DBD fantasy AU:

Edwin is a bookish prince with a love of mysteries and a keen sense of justice, which is a useful trait to have when your kingdom has a habit of letting people fall between the cracks. However, his habit of sneaking out into the kingdom to "assist" the royal guards with cases has gotten him into trouble... specifically, the accidentally-got-captured-by-a-demon-and-was-stuck-in-the-demon-realm-for-a-bit kind of trouble. Because of this, he's been assigned his own personal knight to stick with him at all times---but thankfully, Edwin's new shadow might be more rebellious than he seems...

Charles has only recently been knighted, and got assigned to Edwin due to the fact that they're similar in age and Edwin doesn't have a lot of friends. He got put on the path to knighthood because his father thought it'd be a good way for him to "man up," but surprisingly enough, he actually enjoys being a sword-fighting protector of the realm, even if the other knights have a tendency to be pricks. And Charles is more than happy to help Edwin do some clandestine detective work---hey, as long as he's sticking by him and making sure he doesn't get hurt, he's fulfilling his duties.

Niko is the princess of the neighboring kingdom, and she and Edwin are set to be married when they turn twenty-one---which both of them are fairly fine with, because despite the fact that they're both gay, they've been best friends since they were kids and know full well that it could very well be worse. Ever since her father died, she's been fairly withdrawn and lost, and has retreated even further into her love of books to keep her distracted. But even her newfound isolationist tendencies didn't keep her from briefly contracting a curse when she came into contact with an old magical artifact... a curse that was thankfully broken by her own personal bodyguard-slash-attendant.

Crystal is a recent graduate of a prestigious wizarding academy, and until her final year, she mostly skated by on average grades and the money of her noble parents. However, the summer before her final year, she summoned a demon on a dare, fell for him, and allowed him to possess her... and the experience not only briefly left her with holes in her memory, but was generally a wake-up call to how reckless she was with her magic. Over the following months, she applied herself to her wizardly studies, and got good to the point where she was called in to help cure Niko of a mysterious, multicolored curse that was afflicting her---and once Crystal succeeded, she was immediately handed a position as the junior court mage and Niko's primary attendant. Luckily, the two of them actually wound up getting along pretty fast.

My ideas for the others aren't as thought out, but I'll give you the basics:

Jenny works as the head cook in Niko's palace, and pretty much everybody knows not to mess with her. She's the person who Niko usually goes to for advice, despite the fact that she's really trying to not give off "mom friend" vibes.

The Night Nurse is the royal advisor to Edwin's parents, and is the one who's in charge of the majority of his schooling and general upbringing. While she's incredibly strict, she's still much more present than his actual parents are, and she's kind of unintentionally become his adoptive mom. She'll deny this if you ask her.

Esther is still a scheming witch who's pretty much always up to no good---maybe she's living in a village, maybe she's actually living in the palace as Crystal's mentor, I haven't decided yet---but Monty is her actual son and apprentice who simply has the ability to transform into a crow. And he... needs help.

The Cat King is a fey who Edwin met on a case. They meet up when they can and make out sometimes, though it's strictly a friends-with-benefits situation. He gives Edwin terrible advice on how to talk to boys.

[haikyuufanficwriting]

Chapter 7: Kuroo (NSFW)

Prompt: Reader working non-stop and (Character) has to ‘tire’ them out. (NSFW) Character: Kuroo

_________________

You’re a workaholic. Anyone who’s ever met you could notice it at first meeting. You’re a typical type A person. You fit the stereotypical mold perfectly. This isn’t really a surprise to you though, you’ve been this way for as long as you could remember.

Ever since you were a little kid, you’ve never been able to take a proper break. You simply didn’t know how to. There always seemed to be something else to do, something to improve on, something to fix…

And while you profited from this trait in your professional life, it did horrendous effects on your personal life.

“Kitten, it’s almost midnight.” You don’t even glance up from your desk, engrossed in the report you’re writing, as your boyfriend curls his arms around you, silently beckoning you to come to bed. You sigh lightly.

“I’ll be there is fifteen minutes Tetsu.” You mutter absentmindedly, and Kuroo snorts, knowing very well that you’re saying anything to sate him.

Truth be told, Kuroo understood where you’re coming from. Becoming the spokesman for a famous a volleyball team has led to many late nights, but the difference between him and you were he knew when and how to take a break. Kuroo could kick back and forget about all his ailments, while you could barely go ten minutes without going into a frenzy about some files you had to go over. He couldn’t really remember a time when you weren’t like this. Even back in high school, you tried to make sure you had perfected every subject, every assignment. When you joined the volleyball team as manager, you stayed back longer than any boy practicing. Doing anything from helping cleaning and maintaining the gym, to help making as many practice matches as you could.

Many times he’d have to force you to eat and to sleep, among other things. Kuroo had gotten so used to it, it became routine to pick up both you and Kenma just to make sure both of you had eaten something. So much so that it’s a favorite pastime for him to recall those memories and watch you cringe.

But, now in your adult life and being in a romantic relationship rather than a platonic one, Kuroo lets you do you. Of course, now you know when to do basic necessities like eat and sleep (Well, sometimes you needed a little help), but mostly because he wouldn’t dare change you. (Maybe because of how amusing it is to see you try to relax). However, there are times where he felt he needed to step in. Just to make sure you wouldn’t burn out or combust.

You were high maintenance but, Kuroo liked maintaining you. Your drive and passion for everything you do is one of the reasons he fell for you in the first place.

Which brings him to his current mission. To get you to sleep. Ever since you were brought on to a new project at your work, he could tell you weren’t sleeping as much as you should be. And while he was usually lenient, it was starting to worry him a little bit. Hence, why this time he wouldn’t take no for an answer.

Kuroo doesn’t respond with words, but only light, feather-like kisses down your neck, just to remind that he really isn’t going to give in. You try to ignore him, but once he begins to suck a light hickey right below your ear, you can’t handle it and let out a heavy sigh of mainly annoyance and just a bit of pleasure. You can feel his smirk from behind you. That jackass.

“Tetsu, I have to focus.”

“You can focus tomorrow, (Name). It’ll still be there when you wake up.” Kuroo says in a teasing tone while moving his hands from your sides to your hands, pulling them away from the work you so desperately want to finish.

“I promised myself I’d finish this today.” You argue, turning around to plead with your eyes, but to no avail.

“When’s the deadline?” You pause, before looking away slightly.

“Next week.” Kuroo doesn’t even need to use words, but just a slight eyebrow raise for you to feel the need to defend yourself. “I-I’m using next week to read it over just to make sure I didn’t forget any-” Your argument is cut off by your yelp as Kuroo picks you up bridal style right from your chair. You flush.

“T-tetsurou!”

He gives you a Cheshire smile. “Bedtime.” Is the only thing he says as he carries you to your shared bedroom. You huff childishly as he sets you down onto the bed and pulls the covers down. He pulls off his shirt and lays down. You’re silently thankful that you were already changed for bed. Your mind can’t even take the imaginary scenarios of what your boyfriend would do. Your noises of disagreement are quieted when he pulls you into his chest. You grumble slightly.

“I’m not a child you know.” You hear Kuroo let out a small chuckle. You feel the vibrations coming from his chest and shiver slightly.

“Sleep, kitten.” He whispers before playfully nipping your ear, which earns him a light smack against his arm. Such a tease. You sigh, before relaxing into your boyfriends’ arms, attempting to sleep.

Maybe this could actually be good for you. Some sleep to feel refreshed in the morning and give you the final push to finish that report…

~~

This was a terrible idea.

Not only could you not fall asleep, but you couldn’t stop thinking about your unfinished report in the other room. It was practically calling you, teasing you, infesting your mind with the fact that it’s sat there, undone. You shift slightly, leaning more against Kuroo as you feel his deep and even breathing. Lucky bastard practically passed out the second his head hit the pillow. While you laid there for about what felt like an eternity. You let out a low agonized whine, before looking at the clock on your bedroom wall. It was 1:35 am.

You definitely couldn’t stay like this. It was going to be the death of you if this continued.

You look from your door to Kuroo. Surely, he wouldn’t notice if you left for half an hour? You were almost finished with your report, so you knew you wouldn’t be gone for long, plus he slept like the dead…

You slowly and cautiously uncurled Kuroo’s arms from your waist, checking his face for the smallest shifts of discomfort, stopping whenever he twitched. After about five minutes, you managed to get him off you, and as quietly as possible, you stood up and tried to make your way to your door. You were about halfway there, when you hear a low grunt. You turn to see your boyfriend’s arms searching threw the empty space of the bed. He was trying to look for you.

If you weren’t focused on the task at hand, you would’ve recorded this for blackmail material. But, afraid of waking him, you silently grabbed your pillow and gave it to his searching hands. And like a child, Kuroo immediately clings onto it, pulling it into him and letting out a satisfied groan. You feel sensations of warmth course through you.

You swear you cannot describe the love you feel for this man. You feel yourself smile, going back and brushing your fingers down his neck, to which he let out a comforted noise.

Wait, stop, (Name) focus!

You snap yourself out of it, reminding yourself of the report sitting outside. With one last glance, you turn and make your way out the door. You feel peace and relief as you sit back down in your desk chair.

Okay time to get to work…

~~

Okay, this might’ve taken a little longer than you’ve anticipated.

You finished writing the report, but when reading over you decided halfway through that you wanted to change a section, but then it intersected with another part and another…

Long story short, you’re rewriting it all over again.

You have no clue what time it is, only knowing the last time you checked it was 2: 45 am, and its felt like forever since you last checked.

But nevertheless, you were convinced that you were going to be done in the next fifteen minutes, so you just had to make sure that it was quiet enough that Kuroo wouldn’t wake. You made sure to check the door every five minutes and not a to make a single sound other the keyboard clacking. You were filled with determination. The next ten minutes flew by, with you getting immersed into your own little bubble.

Which is why you didn’t even hear Kuroo get up.

Granted, he had woken up randomly, but when he stirred and found himself clutching a pillow instead of your body, he knew immediately what you were up to.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” He groaned, before huffing out a laugh, shaking his head at the clock on the wall. It was around 4: 15 am. Kuroo got up and walked out of the room, to find you sitting on your desk, face totally absorbed in your screen. He leans against the wall causally, watching you for a while.

“You know they say the early bird gets the worm,” His voice is rough from sleep, but is still filled with amusement as he watches you jump from his voice. You turn his way like a child getting caught for taking candy from their mothers’ purse.

“But this is a little much don’t you think?” He watches you slide out of your desk, closing your laptop while attempting to figure out a reasonable defense, but ends up watching you open and close your mouth like a gaping fish. He wishes he had his phone with him to catch your expression.

“I… I wasn’t tired. So I just figured I’d finish while it was still on my mind.” You finally say, voice filled with nervousness and a little bit of shame. Kuroo looks from you to your laptop.

“And did you finish?” You look away.

“…Not yet.” There’s silence between you two for little while. You watch Kuroo rub his face, clearly trying figure out what to do with you. You gulp.

“Tetsu, just go back to bed, I’ll be finished in ten minutes. As soon as I’m done, I’ll go to sleep I promise. I just couldn’t rest knowing it wasn’t done-” You’re cut off by Kuroo’s body pressing into yours, pushing you against the wall in a searing kiss, moving against your lips in a slow but bruising pace. You moan in surprise.

How-How did he even get over here so quickly?

Your mind goes blank as his hand travels under your pajama shirt (Which was his old t-shirt, but whatever), rubbing your lower back in ways that leave your skin tingling in its wake. You gasp from the sensation, giving Kuroo the space to slip his tongue in. At this point your body is on auto pilot, with even your arms subconsciously wrapping around his neck at some point of the suddenly heavy make out session.

After what felt like centuries, Kuroo pulls back to let you breathe, before immediately going to attack your neck, not in the lighthearted way he did hours prior. He cycles from sucking on your flesh to lightly biting to kissing, all in places that he knows are sensitive. This all came on so fast that you can barely form coherent sentences.

“T-tetsu… What -ah, are you… Doing?” You pant, and he finally stops and smirks at you, which alone caused your heart to skip a beat.

“What else could I be doing? Taking your mind off work.” With that, he continues that assassination on your neck.

Honestly, the idea came to Kuroo on a whim. He knew that you couldn’t (or wouldn’t) stop working on that stupid report, so at that moment he could only think of one thing that could have a chance at taking your focus off it.

 Sex.

Primitive yes, but hey, it worked at the best of times. Plus, it could also help with working off the extra energy you can’t seem to shake.

It’s a win-win in his eyes.

(It also may have to do with the fact that you two haven’t slept together in a week, due to said report, so he could be feeling a little pent up but that’s a different issue.)

After he was satisfied with his work on your neck, which was full of red and purple splotches that he knows you’ll complain about later, he returns to your lips, kissing you with all the strength he had. His hands travel from your back to your chest, thankful that you weren’t wearing a bra. Kuroo starts to knead your breasts, making sure to pinch and pull and your nipples every so often, leaving you to twitch and cry softly in his mouth. He can’t help but think about how the sounds would feel around his cock, and that imagery goes straight to his crotch.

Right no, this was about you. Another thought for another day.

His hands leave your chest, to go to the back of your thighs. He squeezes them to silently tell you to that he’s going to lift you. You help a little, jumping slightly and hooking your legs around his toned hips. Without leaving your lips he takes you to the nearest surface, which was your couch, and lays you down with the upmost care, before pouncing on you immediately. Putting one of his legs between yours.

After five minutes in this new position, Kuroo suddenly leaves your mouth and you quietly whine at the loss, but he doesn’t hear as he motions you to lift your arms off to take off your shirt. You comply, helping him remove the item of clothing, leaving you in just your panties. Kuroo appreciates the fact that you don’t wear pants to bed as he takes a moment to look at you. Your face flushed and red, lips swollen with a bruised neck that goes down to your collar bones. Your chest heaving from your heavy pants that accentuate the curve of your breasts. Kuroo has to real in his self control to stop himself from fucking you immediately. You feel yourself heat up from his dark eyes looking you up and down like you’re a piece of meat.

“St-stop staring, pervert” You mutter, turning even more red from embarrassment. He smiles at your shyness. “Sorry kitten; but you can’t expect me not stare when you’re all laid out for me like this~ Just waiting to be devoured.”

You stutter at his words, refusing to look at him but trying to kick him to get your point across. He catches your leg with ease, and starts to kiss your calf, going up your leg, purposefully avoiding where you want him most. You whine again, this time with Kuroo hearing you and he chuckles lowly.

“Patience is a virtue, you know~” He teases, and before you could say anything, he latches his mouth to one of your nipples, leaving his hand to tease the other, making you speechless. Your only response was a shaky moan as he softly bites your nipple, causing your back to arch just a bit.

Kuroo is relentless, refusing to let your nipple go until its bright red and engorged, making even the lightest touch make you shiver. But he isn’t done in the slightest. Once pleased, he turns to the other one, giving it the exact same treatment. Once he’s done, you’re practically shaking with need.

“Tet-Tetsu… Pl-please.” You moan, as he teasingly pinches your extremely sensitive nipple. He looks at you, acting oblivious.

“Hm? Do you want something?” You glare as hard as you could at the prick, but with your half-lidded eyes and totally red face, it loses all intensity. Kuroo huffs out a laugh, sensual and deep, as he takes his finger and trails it down your abdomen and down to your inner thigh, making you let out gasps as your body twitches at the touch. He traces tiny circles down your inner thigh before grazing the lips of your pussy.

You’re absolutely dripping. His cock twitches. Maybe this week has been hard on you too…

“So needy~” He groans, again not giving you time to respond, as he shoves his finger inside your dripping hole, leaving you writhing. To be honest, he was becoming impatient as well, his cock was becoming so hard it was beginning to hurt, but he ignored it for your sake.

Kuroo starts off slow, pushing his finger in a slow pulse, loving the way your walls would twitch around his finger. After a while he brought his thumb to rub slow tight circles on your clit. You struggle to hold in any noise. Not like you weren’t struggling before.

“Tetsu~” You pant, becoming a literal puddle as he steadily winds the coil forming in your lower abdomen. Your hips start to move on their own accord, pushing against his finger to get it even deeper.

You want more. You need more.

“Still thinking about work?” Kuroo asks slyly, purposefully adding a second finger just to mess and cloud up your thoughts.

Bastard was making you look like a bitch in heat. But in the moment, you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

You didn’t answer, couldn’t answer. Not with all the pleasure muddling your basic communication skills. Kuroo obviously didn’t like that, so he decides to push up into a place that makes you see stars.

“Tetsurou!” You literally gasp, arching your back so far that you lift yourself off the couch. Kuroo groans just from your voice and expression alone. Just watching your eyes roll into the back of head was enough to put him in a frenzy, not even mentioning the way you said his name. He wanted you to scream it. Scream so loud the neighbors file complaints.

So of course, what else was he supposed to do but press and rub against that spot repeatedly.

Kuroo watches hungrily as your gasps and moans pitch higher and higher as his fingers set a brutal pace. Adding a third finger and his palm against your clit once more and you were goner, with him throwing you into climax rather than pushing you to it. He swears your cunt squeezed him so hard his fingers lost circulation for a moment, but it was worth the expression of pure bliss on your face.

It takes you a while to get your breathing under control, winding down from a climax harder than you’ve had in a while. You take a couple minutes resting your eyes, before you remember that Kuroo was still present, now rubbing his cock against your inner thigh.

“I hope you’re not tired yet, kitten~ We still have so much work to do.”

Boy, were you in for a rough night.

[eumppattv]

𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄? lee heeseung

You and Heeseung had been friends for as long as you remember. He was your person, your partner in crime. Could one night, and a batch of burnt cookies change that?

pairing lee heeseung x reader word count ౨ৎ 1.2k warnings ꕁ cursing genre ᩍ best friends to lovers a/n: my enha taglist is open! - join here ➜ masterlist

“This tastes like straight up shit” you said, throwing the cookie into the trash can. “You’re lucky you can even taste it! I’ve been trying to bite into mine for the past minute” Heeseung said, hitting the cookie against the counter as evidence. You and Heeseung had wanted to get into the christmas spirit, arguing that November was basically December- the perfect time for chocolate chip cookies and a christmas movie marathon. It was very delusional of you to think you would be successful in your baking, knowing how your kitchen shenanigans have ended up in the past.

For Jakes birthday, Heeseung had the brilliant idea of baking him a cake. Of course no one would dare be in the same kitchen as him- well accept for you. The cake itself didn’t end up bad, but let’s just say Jake never got a chance to even see it. Within a couple minutes, one wrong turn from the boy had ended with cake all over the ground, and even on your clothes.

Then there was the grill incident. Technically it wasn’t in a kitchen, but there was food involved. Food plus Heeseung and you equals disaster every time. The two of you got assigned to the grill during one of your camping trips with the boys, a big mistake. The meat was forgotten while you and Heeseung argued about which tent you’d sleep in. One thing led to another, and before you knew it Jay was standing over you with a fire extinguisher. He vowed to never let you near fire ever again.

You don’t even know how you two managed to mess up this time, but what’s done is done- even though it was expected. “I don’t even know why we tried” you said, taking the rest of the cookies and throwing them away. Heeseung came up behind you, sulking as he waved goodbye to the black circles, making you chuckle. You stomach churned, and you didn’t know if it was because your dessert was trashed or because of the boy standing so close to you.

You don’t know when it started, but there seemed to be a shift between you and your best friend. Friendly conversations had turned flirtatious, and physical touch had now felt…different. Heeseung had always been flirtatious, a personality trait he had developed over the years- but it never affected you directly. You would always play it off as a joke, with I love you’s ending in barf emojis, and hugs ending in play fighting. Part of you cherished this friendship, but the other wants him as more than a friend. Wants him to want you, to love you.

Heeseung laid his head on your shoulder, burying his face in the crook of your neck. “ Y/nnn. I’m hungry” he muttered, the vibration of his lips making your cheeks grow hot. “We can make some ramen” you said, almost a whisper, scared your voice would give away your current state. The boy shot up, running to the cupboard he was too familiar with. You sighed, already missing his warmth, though you’d never admit it. Although your kitchen had encountered some of Heeseung’s worst attacks, anytime he cooked ramen was like an apology for his latest mistake. It was the only food he couldn’t mess up.

You walked over, lifting yourself to sit on counter as he turned on the stove. You smiled, admiring every feature in his face. The way his eyebrow raised as he figured out if the water was hot enough. The way his lips turned upwards as he placed the packet in. The way his hair fell perfectly, even at 3am. He looked perfect with his hoodie and glasses. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer” he smirked, catching you off guard. “That was so corny” you replied, trying to play it off. He wasn’t buying it- almost as if he could read every thought in your mind. You wondered if he could tell you were thinking about him, and your relationship.

What you didn’t know was that Heeseung was having the same thoughts about you. You had gotten cold during the night, too lazy to go back upstairs to grab a hoodie. Instead you settled on the hoodie Heeseung was wearing, and he made his way into his bag for a spare on he had brought. He had been secretly blushing all night, the sight of you in his clothes being too much for him. And now here you were, looking at him with those sweet eyes he loved.

“You’re so pretty” he said, the words meant to stay in his mind escaping without warning. Your heart stopped, and it felt like time did too. You didn’t know how to respond, so like any insane person, you laughed his comment off. “Shut up Hee” you said, rolling your eyes. At that, the boy moved closer, too close. “Why are you acting so weird?” you questioned, looking anywhere but him. He thought for a second, before answering. “I don’t know” he simply stated. He was making this so difficult, and you refused to let him see you like this- all embarrassed.

You looked back at him, realizing he was basically standing in between your legs, his arms on either side of you. “Y/n, I mean it when I say you’re pretty.” he said, looking up at you with his bambi eyes. Your breath hitched, “Why are you saying that now?”

“Because I think I’m in love with you”

The sound of the timer going off broke the silence between you, followed by a bunch of apologies from Heeseung. He backed away, tending to the ramen. “Ignore me, it’s late and I- I’m tired” he said, his voice laced with panic and regret. He rushed to serve the ramen, wanting to forget this night. But you wouldn’t let him, not when he confessed- when he said the words you’ve wanted to hear for months.

Hopping off the counter, you walked towards him, pulling him towards you. You looked up at him, cupping his cheek. “I’m sorry” he said again, looking defeated. “It’s okay” you answered, rubbing your thumb across his cheek. “I guess I have to say sorry too” you said, smiling at him. His face turned to confusion, as he let out a “Why?”. You leaned closer, tiptoeing to whisper in his ear. “Because I think I’m in love with you too”. You backed away, wanting to see his reaction to your confession. “Are you being serious?!” he asked, grabbing your shoulders. You nodded, suddenly feeling shy. He let out a sigh of relief, feeling an immense weight lifted off his shoulders.

You chuckled at his dramatic reaction, remembering why you were so attracted to him. Suddenly, he leaned in, moving a strand of hair out from your face. “Can I… kiss you?” he asked, nervous and scared he would overwhelm you. He couldn’t help it. The girl he had been secretly in love with was finally admitting she had felt the same. The situation demanded a disney movie kiss. You didn’t reply, opting to lean in and connect your lips. More romantic than what Hee was expecting. He loved it, loved you. You loved it, loved him.

You had forgotten about the ramen, but this time you didn’t mind. This moment was more satisfying than any meal.

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